“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” – John De Paola
To counteract all the freezing in my life from fear, I have chased and chased and chased.I never feel I can catch the lofty ideas of myself based in trauma losses. I have kept trying to live a life as if I haven’t been through all I’ve been through, thinking that that is the only way I can make it up to myself and live up to my “potential”. What this has done to me is heavily reinforce that it is “my fault” if I don’t “succeed.” I am reenacting trauma I have been trying to prevent through my hypervigilance.I’m setting an intention to sit with all I have tried to collect with the compulsion to prove myself, to hold the reality that I am worthy as I am. If I can hold that reality, then I can hold myself with the love and acceptance that I’ve tried to achieve through “success”.
